Pumpkin Cream Cheese Roll

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCy3DPWEWQc

Sherlock Holmes Temple Scene

"Cheese"

Recipe courtesy of King Arthur Four 

County Fair Caramel Apple Bars

recipe courtesy of King Arthur Flour

WEREWOLF, n.  A wolf that was once, or is sometimes, a man. All werewolves are of evil disposition, having assumed a bestial form to gratify a bestial appetite, but some, transformed by sorcery, are as humane as is consistent with an acquired taste for human flesh. 

Some Bavarian peasants having caught a wolf one evening, tied it to a post by the tail and went to bed. The next morning nothing was there! Greatly perplexed, they consulted the local priest, who told them that their captive was undoubtedly a werewolf and had resumed its human form during the night. "The next time that you take a wolf," the good man said, "see that you chain it by the leg, and in the morning you will find a Lutheran."

The Devil's Dictionary by 

Ambrose Bierce

Happy Halloween!

Chicken Salad Veronique

GRAPE, n.  

Hail noble fruit!--by Homer soung,

Anacreon and Khayyam;

Thy praise is ever on the tongue

Of better men than I am.

The lyre my hand has never swept,

The song I cannot offer:

My humbler service pray accept--

I'll help to kill the scoffer.

The water-drinkers and the cranks

Who load their skins with liquor--

I'll gladly bare their belly-tanks

And tap them with my sticker.

Fill up, fill up, for wisdom cooks

When e'er we let wth wine rest.

Here's death to Prohibition's fools,

And every kind of vine-pest!

Jamrach Holobom.

The Devil's Dictionary

Ambrose Bierce

Recipe courtesy of Ina Garten

4 split ( 2 whole ) chicken breasts, bone-in, skin-on

Good olive oil

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

1/2 C good mayonnaise

1 1/2 Tbl sp chopped fresh tarragon leaves

1 C small-diced celery (2 stalks)

1 C green grapes, cut in 1/2

Apple Chutney

APOTHECARY, n.  The physician's accomplice, undertaker's nbenefactor and grave worm's provider.

When Jove sent blessings to all men that are,

And Mercury conveyed them in a jar,

That friend of tricksters introduced by stealth

Disease for the apothecary's health,

Whose gratitude impelled him to proclaim:

"My deadliest drug shall bear my patron's name!"

G. J.

The Devil's Dictionary by

Ambrose Bierce

Recipe courtesy of Ina Garten

6 Granny Smith apples, peeled cored and half-inch diced

1 C chopped yellow onion

2 Tbl sp minced fresh ginger

1 C freshly squeezed orange juice (2 oranges)

3/4 C good cider vinegar

1 C light brown sugar, lightly packed 

1 tsp whole dried mustard seeds

1/4 tsp hot red pepper flakes

1 1/2 tsp kosher salt

3/4 C rainsins

Eggplant Gratin

HABEAS CORPUS.  A writ by which a man may be taken out of jail when confined for the wrong crime.

 Recipe courtesy of Ina Garten

Good olive oil, for frying

3/4 pound eggplant, unpeeled, sliced 1/2-inch thick

1/4 C ricotta cheese

1 extra-large egg

1/4 C half-and-half

1/2 C plus 2 Tbl sp freshly grated Parmesan

Kosher salt

Freshly ground black pepper

1/2 C good bottle marinara sauce

Peanut-Swirl Brownies

DIARY, n.  A daily record of that part of one's life, which he can relate to himself without blushing.

Hearst kept a diary wherein were writ

All that he had of wisdom and of wit.

So the Recording Angel, when Hearst died,

Erased all entries of his own and cried:

"I'll judge you by your diary." Said Hearst:

"Thank you; 'twill show you I am Saint the First"--

Straightway producing, jubilant and proud,

That record from a pocket in his shroud.

The Angel slowly turned the pages o'er,

Each stupid line of which he knew before,

Glooming and gleaming as by turns he hit 

On shallow sentiment and stolen wit;

Then gravely closed the book and gave it back.

"My friend, you've wandered from your proper track:

You'd never be content this side the tomb--

For big ideas Heaven has little room,

And Hell's no latitude for making mirth,"

He said, and kicked the fellow back to earth.

"The Mad Philosopher."

The Devil's Dictionary by 

Ambrose Bierce

Recipe courtesy of Ina Garten

1 pound unsalted butter

1 pound plus 12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips, divided

6 ounces unsweetened chocolate

6 extra-large eggs

3 Tbl sp instant coffee granules

2 Tbl sp pure vanilla extract

2 1/4 C sugar

1 1/4 C all-purpose flour, divided

1 Tbl sp baking powder

1 tsp kosher salt

3/4 C smooth peanut butter

Bialys

PHYSICIAN, n  One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

The Devil's Dictionary

Ambrose Bierce

Recipe courtesy of King Arthur Flour

3 C Sir Lancelot High-Gluten Flour*

1 tsp instant yeast

1 1/2 tsp salt

1 C plus 2 Tbl sp luke-warm water

*substitute high-gluten flour with unbleached bread flour or all-purpose flour. Just cut the water back by about 2 Tbl sp if you use bread flour. 3 Tbl sp for all-purpose.

2 medioum large onions, peeled and finely diced

2 Tbl sp vegetable oil or olive oil

heaping 1/3 tsp salt

No-knead Cheese Burger Buns

Neighbor, n.  One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who dies all he knows how to make us disobedient.

The Devil's Dictionary by 

Ambrose Bierce

Recipe courtesy of King Arthur Flour

2 3/4 C King Arthur Unbleached All-purpose Flour

1/3 C Vermont cheese powder or 1/2 C finely grated sharp cheddar or Pamesan cheese

3/4 tsp salt

1 tsp onion powder

1 Tbl sp sugar

2 1/2 tsp instant yeast

4 Tbl sp softened butter

1 lrg egg

2/3 to 3/4 C luke-warm water

Recipe courtesy of Ina Garten

Steak Sandwich

1 (12 ounce) 1-inch thick New York strip boneless beef top loin steak

Kosher

Freshly ground black pepper

Olive oil

2 yellow onions, slice in rings

1/2 tsp fresh thyme leaves

1 recipe Mustard Mayo

2 mini Focaccia buns, sliced 1/2  (i used the above no-kneach cheese burger bun recipe)

1/2 C baby arugula

3/4 C good mayonaise

1 Tbl sp Dijon mustard

1 Tbl sp whole-grain mustard

2 Tbl sp sour cream

1/8 tsp kosher salt

Homemade Granola Bars

MIRACLE, n.  An act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.

The Devil's Dictionary by 

Ambrose Bierce

Recipe courtesy of Ina Garten

2 C old-fashioned oatmeal

1 C sliced almonds

1 C shredded coconut, loosely packed

1/2 C toasted wheat germ

3 Tbl sp unsalted butter

2/3 C honey

1/4 C light brown sugar, lightly packed

1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract

1/4 tsp kosher salt

1/2 C chopped dried apricots

1/2 C dried cranberries

French Apple Tart

LUNARIAN, n.  An inhabitant of the moon, as distinguished from Lunatic, one whom the moon inhabits.  The Lunarians have been described by Lucian, Locke and other observers, but without much agreement. For example, Bragellos avers their anatomical identity with Man, but Professor Newcomb says they are more like the hill tribes of Vermont.

The Devil's Dictionary by 

Ambrose Bierce

Recipe courtesy of Ina Garten

French Apple Tart

2 C all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp kosher salt

1 Tbl sp sugar ( i used super-fine sugar 1/4 C)

2 Tbl sp cold unsalted butter, diced (1 1/2 sticks)

1/2 C ice water or 6 Tbl sp

4 Granny Smith apples

1/2 cup sugar 

4 Tbl sp cold unsalted butter, small diced

1/2 C apricot jelly or warm sieved apricot jam

2 Tbl sp Calvados, rum, or water (i used orange juice)